life coach & mentor


The Goal is Not to be Positive All the Time

March 6, 2022

Often we think that our goal should be to be happy all the time or to always have a positive attitude. However, the purpose of coaching is not to suddenly become positive all the time. This is not realistic. It is not desirable. Of course, life will constantly offer us situations that we do not want to be happy or positive about. There is pain and suffering in the world and when we see that or we experience it, it does not serve us to pretend otherwise.

We Have a Choice

The truth is, you can choose how you want to feel, always.

If you want to be upset, or don’t mind feeling that way, then you don’t need to try and change it.

You should never try to have a positive thought about anything you don’t want to. That is not point of positive thinking or being optimistic. It is not the point of life coaching either.

However, it is important that we realise that it is our thoughts about the situation that is causing our pain, not the actual situation itself. We always have a choice.

Your thoughts will create your feelings. Every single time.

We will want to feel sad when we see pain, suffering, death, conflict, etc. This is a part of our human experience.

When we realise that we are choosing to experience sadness and grief, it puts us in control of how we feel.

And, if we decide that we want to change how we feel, it does not mean that we condone what is going on. Acceptance does not make anything OK. But it can give us some relief if we are spending too much time suffering ourselves.

If thinking about all the suffering in the world is not serving you, it’s OK to give yourself some space and relief.

Acceptance and Compassion

I think often of moving towards acceptance and compassion.

There will be suffering. There will be pain. Sometimes I can help. Sometimes I can’t. However, if there is something I can do, then I do it.

There needs to be balance. We are not supposed to be happy and positive all the time. We do not need to suffer all of the time either.

There is a lot of love in the world. There is a lot of good. We witness incredible acts of kindness and generosity all the time.

I strive to be generous and kind always, and I know that I have the power to choose my thoughts and generate my emotions every single moment. Although, sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. This is my superpower.

I can help others who are suffering. I can reduce the amount of suffering in the world by learning how not to suffer.

Learn More

I offer free 45 minute coaching sessions so you can experience the transformative power of coaching for yourself. Schedule your free session here:

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