Earlier this month, I started a podcast. The first two episodes were published first and then this past week, episode 3 was released. Coming up with the content and recording the episodes was a lot easier than actually releasing them into the public. It was worth taking the risk, but not easy.
I suppose if it was easy, then more people would do it. I held off on creating a podcast for several months because I didn’t think that I could come up with topics to actually speak about. However, one day I finally sat down to brainstorm ideas and they started pouring out me. I thought it was great! I thought it was time to go ahead with it. This was not a problem. I could do this.
Turns out, coming up with ideas for episode topics is the easy part.
The challenging part is having to listen to your own voice in order to edit the episode. Do I really sound like that? Am I lisping? Why am I speaking so slowly?
You get the idea. It literally makes me cringe. Every time I sit down to listen, I stop it and start it 25 times because I am so uncomfortable I can only take so much at one time.
For this past episode, I didn’t even want to publicise its release. I put something on FB, but I didn’t put anything on Instagram and I also didn’t send anything out to my email list. I just couldn’t.
The only reason for this blog post is that I just received the nicest WhatsApp message from a fellow coach and friend, who wrote that she listened to the episode yesterday during her walk and that it was ‘really good’.
Is it really good? I don’t know. But I truly appreciate her taking the time to tell me so.
I think the content is good and it is helpful. And that’s why I wanted to do the podcast in the first place.
I know that this material is good. I know it can make a real difference in someone’s life, just as it did in mine.
For the next episode, I will spend more time coaching myself in order to ensure that I remember why I do this and how valuable it can be.
I will remind myself that it doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s never about perfect. Taking the risk and putting my work out there is my opportunity to grow and expand.
It’s easy to hide out and play it safe. I could keep myself small and hold back.
But with each risk, with each endeavour, I become more of who I am. I know I can feel the fear and discomfort and I will survive and become a better version of myself. And my life expands in parallel. It is a fascinating process to experience. Each step, no matter how small, counts.
We all hold ourselves back in some way. There is probably one or more areas of your life where you know you want more, but aren’t going after it. That’s perfectly normal. Our brain will give us every excuse not to do it in an effort to keep us safe. It means well, but we don’t have to give into it.
Having self-confidence and courage does not require the absence of fear.
We proceed even though it is there, and will, perhaps, always be there.
We proceed knowing that we can feel the fear and discomfort and whatever other emotion we may feel, and we will survive. The emotion won’t kill us.
And everything we want for ourselves and our lives is on the other side of that emotion.
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