life coach & mentor


Your Relationship with Yourself

February 14, 2022

Today is Valentine’s Day and I am all for celebrating our romantic relationships. But these days it is more interesting for me to look deeper at our relationships with ourselves. That’s the relationship I want to celebrate.

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

I believe that our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we will ever have. My coach taught me this and it really makes sense to me. Partners, boyfriends, husbands, lovers will come and go. But we will always have ourselves – so we may as well learn how to really enjoy being us.

It really doesn’t matter whether you’ve never been married or you’ve been with your partner for over 50 years. Getting to know yourself and love yourself on a deeper level is hugely satisfying. Learning to enjoy your own company. You’re no longer bored spending time by yourself or feeling that you are missing out on something when you are alone. You are happy and content whether you are in a relationship or not. Your relationship status does not define you. It’s fun learning about what you like and what you want more of. Challenging yourself to grow, expand, experience and thrive.

This process for me began with the idea of possibility. If our thoughts create our feelings and then our feelings drive our actions, and our actions then create our results, you know that what you think about is everything. And if our results start with our thoughts – everything I could ever want to create in my life starts with my attitude and what I am thinking.

To make a long story short, what we think about we can create. So, once I learned this, my whole world opened up. The possibilities are endless. I just have to decide what it is I want.

But deciding what you want is no small feat. It can actually be quite overwhelming.

What Do You Want?

Figuring out what you want is a process. Giving yourself space and being patient is key. Think of this as a process for now and that it is not one and done. It is fluid and ever evolving. Nothing is ever final.

One good way of figuring out what you want is to make a list – start with 25 items. They can include goals you want to achieve, places you want to go, things you want. Put anything done and don’t censor yourself. Do not think about what someone else might think if there were to see it.

The key here is to get still and listen to your heart and that little nudge inside of you. Put done anything you think “would be nice” but never seriously entertained because you thought it was completely impossible.

Don’t judge yourself. Just have fun with it. You can learn a lot about yourself when you give yourself the freedom to start this list.

Next, What Do You Really Want?

The next step, once you have your list of 25, is to pick your top 5. Then from your top 5, which is number one? What tops the list as the one thing you really want and can entertain going after?

Keep in mind, you don’t have to know the how. You don’t have to figure out all the details as to how you can achieve it. Most of the time, the how is a process that can be articulated at the beginning of the journey. Typically, it’s only once you’ve achieved something that you can look back and connect all the dots (thank you Steve Jobs).

Decisions are Power

Your power comes from decision. So, deciding what you want is step 1. Deciding to go after it is step 2. Making these decisions informs your brain to start working on this and your brain loves this. It wants something to focus on and figure out.

Prepare to be amazed at the inspiration and opportunities that will present themselves now that you have decided.

Step 3 is to take the next right step. Make this your mantra. You just have to take the next right step. No need to get overwhelmed by all the details. Just one small thing that will move you forward towards your goal.

You will find that the focus on the next small step will keep you focused and grounded. You can figure this out.

Decide you are worth it. Your dreams are worth it. You’ve got this.

If you need help going after your dreams, I can help. As a coach, I am here to provide support for you every step along the way. You don’t need to do this alone.

Visit my website at and follow the link to my calendar to set up your free 45-minute coaching call to get started today.

Let’s do this!

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