Byron Katie once said ‘When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% on the time.’

Have you ever found yourself arguing with reality? Thinking over and over again about how something should have gone or how someone else should have acted? Or perhaps, you’re thinking constantly about something you did or didn’t do and wish it had all gone differently? Have you ever found yourself wishing things could go back to the way they were? Or they should have gone differently?

It’s common to want to control the world around us, and when it doesn’t go according to plan, we resist it. Or we don’t want to let things go.

It’s easy to get stuck in this type of thought pattern, but it is a huge waste of time and emotional energy. If we keep trying to fight reality, we feel frustrated, and ultimately held back from what we really want to create in our lives. The key to changing this pattern is to stop arguing with reality and start focusing on what we can control. Otherwise, we stay stuck in frustration and resentment.

Why We Argue with Reality

Arguing with reality is a way of trying to control the world around us. When we don’t like the way things are, we resist them. We want things to be a certain way, and when they’re not, we feel frustrated and angry. This often stems from fear – fear of change, fear of the unknown, and fear of failure. We hold onto our idea of how things should be because it feels safe and familiar. Unfortunately, this also keeps us locked in the past and unable to move forward.

When it comes to arguing with reality about other people, it’s become a habit and pattern that is easier for our brain to just have on repeat, rather than taking responsibility for ourselves and how we are thinking and feeling. It’s easier to blame someone else. We don’t have to change if they are at fault.

The Consequences of Arguing with Reality

When we argue with reality, we are wasting our time and energy. We become fixated on the past and unable to see the present for what it is. This keeps us stuck in a cycle of negativity and self-doubt. We blame ourselves or others for what went wrong, rather than accepting what is and finding a way to move forward. This can also affect our relationships with others, as we may become resentful or closed off. Ultimately, this cycle, which can go on for years, can keep us from living a fulfilling life.

First, we need to recognize when we are arguing with reality. It’s easy to get caught up in the should-haves and could-haves, but that type of thinking only keeps us in the past. Instead, we have to focus on the present moment and accept what is happening around us. We stop thinking that it should be any different than it is. Or, that person with whom we have an issue, shouldn’t have done anything differently or act another way.

We start to shift our attention to what we can control. We can’t control how others behave, but we can control our response to their actions. This shift in mind-set is crucial for moving forward instead of remaining stuck.

Second, we need to let go of the idea that things should be a certain way. Often, we have expectations for how things should go, and when they don’t meet our expectations, we become disappointed or frustrated. This only leads to more arguing with reality. Instead, we need to accept that things won’t always go as planned and that’s okay. We can still find opportunities and growth in unexpected situations. When we let go of our rigid ideas of how things should be, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and opportunities. It’s normal to have expectations, but at a certain point, if we can’t let them go, they will do more harm than good.

Accepting What Is

To move forward, we need to accept what is. This means letting go of control and embracing the present moment. Acceptance doesn’t mean we have to like what’s happening – it just means we acknowledge it and move forward from there. We can’t change the past, but we can change how we react to it. By accepting what is, we create space to move forward and create something new. We can focus on what we can control – our thoughts, actions, and emotions – and let go of what we can’t.

Third, we need to focus on what we can control. We can’t control the past, but we can always choose how we respond to it. Either we choose to learn from our mistakes and move forward, or we can choose to stay stuck in the past. We can also manage our thoughts and emotions. If we find ourselves constantly dwelling on negative thoughts, we can make a conscious effort to shift our mind-set to more positive and empowering thoughts. By focusing on what we can control, we take back our power and move closer to our peace and calm.

Fourth, we need to focus on what we want to create more of. If we keep focusing on the negative and what went wrong, we only attract more negativity into our lives. Instead, we need to focus on what we want to create more of, whether that’s abundance, happiness, or peace. By directing our attention to what we want to create, we start to take actions that align with our desires. We start to attract more positivity into our lives, which leads to more growth and fulfilment.

Focus on What You Want to Create

Once we’ve accepted reality, we can start to focus on what we want to create. This means setting goals and taking action. We can’t change the past, but we can create a new future. By focusing on what we want to create, we shift our mind-set from negative to positive. We can start to see the opportunities and possibilities around us, rather than the obstacles. This allows us to move forward with confidence and purpose.

Lastly, we need to realize that arguing with reality is a waste of time and energy. By constantly resisting what is, we only create more stress and anxiety in our lives. When we accept what is, we open ourselves up to greater peace and fulfilment. It’s not always easy to do, but it’s a necessary step for growth and personal development.

Letting Go of Judgment

To truly stop arguing with reality, we need to let go of judgment. This means not only accepting what is but also accepting ourselves and others. Believe that we are all doing the best we can with what we have. If we can approach ourselves and others with kindness and compassion, we create a more positive and supportive environment. This helps us to let go of negativity and move forward in a more positive direction.

In conclusion, arguing with reality keeps us stuck in the past. If we want to move forward and create the life we truly desire, we have to let go of what happened and what we think is wrong and focus on what we can control. By doing so, we open ourselves up to new opportunities, growth, and abundance. Arguing with reality keeps us stuck in the past and unable to move forward.

By accepting what is and focusing on what we can control, we create room to create something new. Letting go of judgment and approaching ourselves and others with kindness and compassion allows us to create a more positive and supportive environment. It’s not always easy, but it’s necessary if we want to live a fulfilling life.

If you find yourself arguing with reality, remember that you have the power to change your perspective and move forward. Believe in yourself, and trust that the future holds great things for you.

It’s time to stop arguing with reality and start living in the present moment with clarity and purpose.

If you are ready to get unstuck, schedule your private coaching session with me now. Let’s talk about where you are holding yourself back.