life coach & mentor


Letting Go of How Things Should Be

March 19, 2023

Photo by Efe Ersoy

We’ve all been there—stuck in a mindset of how we think things should be. Instead of letting go, we become frustrated when reality does not match our expectations. Whether it’s at work, in relationships, or in life in general, this thinking keeps us stuck in the past. It prevents us from accepting what is.

But why do we keep arguing with reality? What can we do to break free of this cycle?

Why We Keep Arguing With Reality

When we argue with reality, we are essentially trying to control the uncontrollable. We expect that things will go according to our plans and become frustrated when they don’t. This creates stress and anxiety which can lead to poor decisions and bad outcomes. It also keeps us stuck in a loop of rumination about the past, instead of allowing ourselves to move forward.

The Power of Acceptance and Letting Go

The key to breaking free from this cycle is acceptance. Acceptance does not mean resignation; rather, it means allowing for what is without judgment or expectation. When we accept what is—even if it’s uncomfortable—we can then move forward with clarity and purpose. We stop arguing with reality because we no longer need it to be any different than what it is.

Acceptance gives us the space to make meaningful changes in our lives instead of trying to fit an old model into a new situation.

How To Practice Acceptance

The first step towards acceptance is awareness—recognizing that you are arguing with reality and understanding why you are doing so. Once you have identified those triggers, you can begin to practice letting go of how things should be and allow yourself to accept the present moment as it is. This might involve regular meditation or journaling practices. Maybe you take a few moments each day to pause and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and reactions without judgment. By doing this, you will gradually learn how to let go of your expectations and accept reality as it is. You will no longer argue with it every step along the way.

Arguing with reality keeps us stuck in the past. It prevents us from moving forward in life without judgment or expectation. It creates unnecessary stress and anxiety which can lead to poor decisions and bad outcomes. The key to breaking free from this cycle lies in acceptance—recognizing that things may not always go according to plan but still allowing ourselves the space for meaningful change instead of trying futilely fit an old model into a new situation. By being aware of our triggers for arguing with reality, taking moments each day for reflective practice, and learning how to let go of our expectations, midlife women can gain greater clarity around their lives by accepting what is without judgment or expectation.

If you are ready to gain clarity about what you want in life and what’s stopping you, feel more confident in your abilities and overcome obstacles that have been preventing you from achieving your goals, schedule your private one hour coaching session with me here. I can help. Don’t spend anymore time feeling stuck.

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