life coach & mentor


No Mistakes. Just Lessons.

January 24, 2022

Letting go of regret and moving forward

Photo by Tanner Vote from Pexels

It’s easy to think about how you should have done things differently in the past. Maybe you feel you should have made a better choice. Perhaps that would have made your life so much better today if only such and such a thing had happened, or hadn’t happened. We’ve all had similar thoughts at some time. Most of us will carry these thoughts with us for years, if not for the rest of our lives.

But these thoughts can keep us stuck and serve no useful purpose.

Let me say that again.

Beating yourself up, arguing with the past, indulging in regret and remorse serves no purpose.

Beyond some brief reflection regarding the choices you’ve made and how you might make different decisions in the future, letting go of the past and choosing to see it all as simply valuable lessons which have made us the person we are today is the most constructive use of our brain power.

There is no upside on dwelling on any of it.

If we spend time arguing with the past – telling ourselves that things shouldn’t have happened the way they did, we are stuck. We don’t move forward. Instead, we waste precious energy. We land up holding ourselves back from growth and expansion.

Your Past No Longer Exists

Your past is over and it no longer exists except for how you think about it.

All you have now is the way you think about what happens. If it is a source of pain, this is a choice. It is not a fact. It is only your current thinking about your past that is causing you pain or discomfort.

This is great news and an important distinction because it means we can change this.

We can choose to tell a new story about our past. You can choose to let it go. Consider it all a lesson. You can choose to tell yourself a new story about. One that is empowering or inspirational.

You cannot change what has happened, but right now you can choose how you want to think about it.

A simple exercise to help you reframe your past is to choose one sentence that describes your past.

My sentence is: It has brought me to the exact place I need and want to be.

Spend a few minutes reflecting on how you can reframe your past and summarise it in one sentence that will empower you and let the rest go.

Let it go and redirect all your energy and time into creating an amazing future.

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